Saturday, June 23, 2012

Thrilla in Vanilla and other sports-themed foods that should exist

In third grade, I was in the "Vanilla Club" when our grade of girls divided into preferring chocolate to vanilla. I actually love chocolate too, but with ice cream (the place you're most likely to choose between the two flavors), I always preferred vanilla.
Vanilla gets painted as the dependable but somewhat boring flavor. No more. Now, it's flavor of Ali-Frazier. This vanilla gets the knockout punch.
Here are some other food ideas I had

  • Chocolate Thunder. Duh. Could be ice cream or pretty much anything. Worth noting that I read an article on Dawkins, and he's done some really cool things since his playing days have ended.
  • Darryl Strawberry Shortcake. Our second Darryl-themed dessert. 
  • Coco Crisp (cereal). His name is a fusion of Cookie Crisp and Cocoa Puffs. Cereal companies should've jumped that bandwagon a long time ago.
  • LinsaniTea. More caffeine than regular black tea. Brings out the pyscho.
  • The Roethlisberger already exists somewhere, you can buy it for $7. But has anyone made a Mia Hammburger?
  • O.J. Mayo. Actually orange juice and mayonnaise sounds pretty gross. Citrus aioli better at all?
  • Jerry Rice. Plenty of athletes have the last name "Rice", but they all pale in comparison with this guy.
  • Metta World Peas. Given both his behavior and physique, it makes more sense for the player formally known as Ron Artest to endorse vegetables than ceasefire.
  • Shout out to my rowing friend Liv Coffey. That's the name of a drink that will get you going in the morning.
  • Tim Duncan Donuts. Sure, the name "Duncan" is ironic given that The Big Fundamental, as he was dubbed by Shaq, is known more for his "meat and potatoes" proficiency than high-flying dunks. But if the Spurs run on Duncan, and America runs on Dunkin, there has to be an endorsement in there somewhere.
  • Sugar Ray Robinson Doughnuts. Good sugar doughnuts really hit the spot...and to be perfectly honest they can knock you out for the day. I know Leonard is better known by the modern crowd, but the AP declared Robinson the greatest boxer of the 20th century, and ESPN said he was the best of all time.

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